He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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