It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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