and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
