she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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