i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
