You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
