went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
