I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
