I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I love you. Go after that dick
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
