I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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