Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
