Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
