I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
