I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
