I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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