he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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