margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
