I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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