PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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