areolas are like halos for boobs.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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