i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
