When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
