Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
