we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
