is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
