Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
