i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
