Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
