summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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