i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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