i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
