idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
