the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She told me I should be a condom model.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We left the knife in your bed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
