it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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