i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Boobs speak an international language.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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