is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
