I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
