triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
