Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
