It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
