she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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