i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
