I should be sponsored by Trojan
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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