Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
