we made out on top of his cat.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
