"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
farters have to be the big spoon...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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