So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
