I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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