When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
