I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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